Sentimental Me Update, Plus A Linen Fix

It’s not my intention for this to be a sad post, it’s just a ‘keeping it real’ update about where I am right now – it also helps me reply to all of your lovely messages.

Since Dad passed away I’ve tried so hard, not to get caught up in the small petty stuff that life inevitably dishes out to us once in a while. Instead, I’m focusing super hard on being kinder to myself (I’m always very low in my own pecking order), by facturing inĀ some me time, to process my grief when it hits me – which is something I never did when my Mumma, Iris May passed away…


The past few weeks have been some of the toughest (emotionally) for me, in a real long time.

Losing Dad has truly rocked my world.

You might think, that just because I have lived on the other side of the world from Albert (for the past 6 years), it would somehow make the pain and acceptance a little easier.

Reality: It so hasn’t.

Instead, I keep thinking he is still alive – when I realise my mistake, the thump that brings me back to reality is horrible…these moments also hit me when I least expect them – losing someone you adore, really does give you a massive reality check.

Remember to cherish the special moments – never take them for granted.

Before Dad died, we had a fabulous little routine that we shared during the week.

Every Wednesday he would text me when he woke up in the morning (about 5:30am) it would always be full of hilarious emoji’s – which I had to decipher (it was sort of like a Albert secret emoji code šŸ˜‰ ). He certainly put lots of thought into every text he sent to me. He would then stare eagerly at his phone waiting for my reply – this meant complete panic stations for me, as I know Dad would only give me a couple of minutes, before he switched his phone off TO SAVE THE BATTERY šŸ˜‰ #notevenjoking

Then on Saturday (or Sunday) evenings we wouldĀ all Skype, having a big old family natter.

Just losing those two things have truly thrown me.

So, we headed to Brisbane on Friday with the sole purpose of collecting Beckie. You’ll be pleased to know, Jonny and I didĀ however manage to sneak in a bit of shopping en route (mostly for Jonny boy) – he is such a pleasure to dress. BeckieĀ has recently collaborated with BMW through TCG, which meant the girls have driven around town, in two new swanky cars…as you can probably guess, they definitely didn’t want to give them back! So while they were having fun with the beamers, her little car was on vacation at our place – so she needed a lift home!

Anyway, on Friday evening while we were having dinner, Beckie said she has also been thinking/dreaming about Grandad a lot too, and was also having thoughts that he was still alive. She said, its only now that she is beginning to realise that we can no longer see and hear his hilariousness (he honestly was that funny). We all agree it was his pure love and devotion, that is the hardest thing to lose.

Looking back we now realise our dashĀ trip to England was based on pure adrenaline, we didn’t really have time to stop and mourn the greatness of Dad/Grandad.

Due to work/commitments, we were only in England for 6 days – add to that a funeral, return travel to the other side of the world and jet lag – I guess you could call the trip a whirlwind of emotion.

So I’m guessing how we are feeling now, is simply part of the grieving process for both of us – but, I can tell you, it truly sucks.

It’s so strange, but I feel the closest connection to Dad’s spirit when Beckie is around me (she was his world, I just know he will never be far from her side). So having my girl home for the weekend was my utopia.

We all relaxed, caught up and enjoyed being together – I’m hoping Dad was with us, the whole time.

Sentimental Me, Plus Linen FIx

Wednesday posts are never complete without a bit of fashion – Albert would hate for me stop doing my ‘thing’, so I thought I would add my most treasured possessionĀ  of Dad’s to this post – his wedding ring.

Anyway, I thought you might also like to see the linen pants and shirt I picked up fromĀ Sussan recently – both current stock and still available.

I actually bought this outfit for my girlfriend Andrea’s birthday celebrations at Sunshine Beach (in my head I pictured wall to wall sunshine) – however the torrential rain that hit the coast on the weekend of her birthday, put paid to me donning my fresh new linen threads.

Especially when I visualised turning up at the restaurant drenched to my skin, with WHITE linen stuck like glue to me – I quickly realised the result would not have left a lot to the imagination…think see-through to the MAX!

Linen is one of my all time favourite fabrics, as it SILK

I definitely don’t let the crushed creased look bother me for a second though – it’s all part of the appeal. The natural feel of linen, far out ways the scrunched up appearance.

Sentimental Me, Plus A Linen FIx

Linen Cut Out Shoulder ShirtĀ was $109.95 now $54.98 (bargain, don’t buy the white before I do though šŸ˜‰ )Ā 

Stretch Linen Wide Leg Pant $99.95 | Necklace:Ā Sebastianella – contact the girls for the exact one I’m wearing. | Earrings: Mimco (new season).

Note to the painter of said random wall – would you mind awfully if you came back and touched up the bits you’ve missed at the bottom? HAH!

Sentimental Me, Plus A Linen FIx

 

Linen Cut Out Shoulder ShirtĀ was $109.95 nowĀ $54.98 (bargain, don’t buy the white before I do though šŸ˜‰ )Ā 

Stretch Linen Wide Leg PantĀ $99.95 | Necklace:Ā SebastianellaĀ – contact the girls for the exact one I’m wearing. | Earrings: Mimco (new season).

Wide leg pants never go out of fashion, they are classic and always look stylish.

The linen just transform these dressy pants, giving them a casual feel.

If you’re shorter than me, a wide leg palazzo style pant can beĀ hard(ish) to pull off, depending on your shape. These pants however, are narrower with less flow than a palazzo, which makes them so much easier to wear.

I definitely recommend giving these a try – if they work for you, they will be in your wardrobe for years to come.

Originally I was going to opt for the basic linen shirt to go with this look (without the shoulder cut-outs), BUT showing a little flesh on the shoulders, offers great balance to a wider leg pant (and the junk in ma trunk šŸ˜‰ ).

Sizing:

Linen needs to look loose and comfortable, if you buy your linen too tight it shows ‘stretch lines’ when it relaxes. I’m wearing a 14 in both of these pieces and they feel just right.

The waist on the pants is a fixed button and fly (no elastic at all).

Sentimental Me, Plus A Linen FIx

Before I go, can we just talk about the pink wall…what do you think?

Personally I love it, but can only use it very early in the morning (like 6:30am early) which is not good for this nocturnal bird!


 

Bev,

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  • Karsuz

    Losing a loved one is so hard and something that stays with you for a long time. Albert being such huge part of your life has left a hole. You just have go with the feelings. Have you had your sign yet or is Albert still making you wait, still teaching you patience. Sending you love all the way from China xxx
    I love this whole outfit so much – I need to check out those pants when I get home.

  • Jacqueline Mitrovits

    When my mother died it was very sudden & unexpected & I went through so many emotions I had never experienced before. The only advice I have for you lovely Bev, is not to fight it go through it. I know that sounds weird by as a pyschologist friend of mine explained the “stages of grief” it made sense and now six years down the track I know she is with me. My son graduated from high school a few weeks ago and I know she was there with us, proud as punch as the expression goes. I believe people may pass away but the love and bond you have with them never dies ?

    • Oh Jacqueline you are so right. When my Mumma (Iris May) died in 1999 – I was heartbroken, but I never cried. I just couldn’t allow myself to grieve, because I refused to admit she was gone. She was the matriarch of our family, the linchpin that held us all together. So I stayed strong for everyone else, which resulted in me eventually crumbling – 2 years of weekly (sometimes twice weekly) therapy followed.
      Like you, I believe my Mumma is all around me, I just know she would never leave my side.
      Now Dad is with her – although, I haven’t felt his presence yet, but I know I will when he is ready. I guess its still early days.
      Your Mum wouldn’t have missed your son’s graduation, she would have been right by your side, gushing with pride (just as you were). xxx

  • Helen Linning

    I lost my aunt and my dad in the space of 8 weeks – both died in similar manners – both from complications due to diabetes and heart attack! Both sudden.
    We have passed my aunts first anniversary and now am staring down our first Xmas without dad and then his anniversary. I hold a lot of guilt with the way he died and choices I made.
    Every day is a struggle within! I spoke to my dad everyday at lunch. Mum was at work so I knew he wouldnā€™t pass the phone over to her and would talk to me.
    Our dads are the first men we love and the men we hold all others too.
    Positive thoughts and love being sent you way

    • Helen thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I so sorry to hear of your sadness.
      Honestly, I feel you pain. It sounds like we were both lucky to have had such wonderful men to guide and nurture us.
      It’s the routine things that cause the most pain and the things we miss the most – like your lunchtime phone calls, and my midweek texts, plus my Saturday night Skype date.
      No matter what though, I’m sure like me, you have a heart full of beautiful memories to treasure.
      Ps apologies for taking so long to reply xxx

  • My father died last year. Although it was expected, the circumstances were quite traumatic. Since then I have had a host of minor health complaints all of which I put down to losing him. I am trying to slow down and a year down the track I am finally remembering him without remembering the trauma of losing him, so I can say it does get easier.

    • Oh Andrea, thank you so much for sharing this with me. Even when we know our loved ones are ill, it doesn’t make the loss any easier does it? Dad had been terminally ill for the last couple of years (I’m not even sure how he managed to hang on for as long as he did – it may have had something to do with his constant humour) but I was still so shocked when the call came through. I honestly thought he would live forever.
      Glad to hear you’re trying to slow down and take care of you. xxx

  • Suzie

    I know how you feel Bev, we lost my beautiful mother in law at the start of the year. We were very close and we shared a love of fashion. She was super elegant and thanks to her the Sicilian puts up with my need for wardrobe space!! Love the linen edit!! Xx

    • Oh Suzie I remember this happening. It’s completely devastating, and very hard to get over.
      How truly wonderful and so very special that you both shared a special bond – loving fashion.
      I can only imagine your wardrobe(s) if they are anything like mine they are bulging at the seams! Poor Jonny and the Sicilian – good job they adore us! xxx

  • What a lovely post Bev. I lost my dad to Parkinsons 5 years ago, and it still makes me cry like it was yesterday. We all lived together (home and granny) most of my married years. I just don’t think one ever gets over losing a parent. Good times with your daughter will help of course, and speaking of him often keeps him with you. Lovely to hear how well Beckie is doing. Oh, and I just love that pink wall – gorgeous! I once painted my bed-head wall that colour (all the other walls were white), and had a blue/white toile bedspread on the bed – this was while I was living in Hobart – it truly warmed up the bedroom!!!

    • The loss of a parent is completely shattering Petra. Mum died in 1999 (very long story short) but I ended up in therapy for over two years. Not sure where I would be now without the wonder care from my ’emotional therapist’ Tracey. She helped me beyond belief, by slowly bringing me back from a very dark place. Beckie was only young, but even then she was my lifeline.
      You’re so right, we never get over the loss of our parents. I feel so blessed to have had two wonderful people who have loved and guided me unconditionally.
      On a lighter note, so glad you have given the pink wall the thumbs up. Your bedroom would have looked incredible. Big hugs, xxx