Me and My Girl: Dear Beckie

I’m having a gushy proud Mumma moment – would you mind indulging me for a second?

Dear Beckie,

Oh my goodness. What a roller coaster of a ride the past few months have been eh?

A whole year after applying for your first Law Clerkship role you have just been offered a graduate position in one of the world’s top ten Law firms.

YES. I KNOW.

Who would have thought it possible.

You, my little premature baby (born at 28 weeks) are amazing.

In a nutshell, Beckie was very poorly when she was born. I was told that if she made it through, the chances of her being able to compete on the same level as her peers was very slim. She would more than likely have speech, hearing and eyesight problems, for the rest of her life.

Not only did you survive, you have managed to defy the odds that were stacked against you.

I know I’m never short of something to say, but I’m still struggling to put into words exactly how ecstatic I feel at your achievement,

Proud doesn’t seem like a good enough word.

Even now two weeks later, the feeling of utter joy is still gushing through my veins.

I can’t wipe the smile from my face.

It truly is, a tidal wave of emotion.

LOVE  |   PRIDE  |  JOY  | ELATION | HOPE

When you called me with the news, you were already crying tears of joy. As soon as I heard you say ‘I’ve got it’ – I joined in.

Such a magical moment, that I have been lucky enough to share with you.

One of those moments that I would not have missed for the world, and one that will stay with me forever.

Of course, I shot my ass straight to Brisbane to celebrate with you.

This was definitely a champagne moment.

Dear Beckie

When I got back to the coast and was celebrating (yes, again – couldn’t let Jonny drink alone could I?) we were reminiscing on your amazing journey so far, not sure why but I started to let fear creep in and overtake the joy.

Fear that somehow our relationship will change.

Deep down inside I know it will, after all, you are a beautiful woman with ambitions to conquer.

My conversation with Jonny went back to the appointment I had last August with the clairvoyant.

As you already know, the clairvoyant talked a lot about your future.

I never told her you were studying Law – she told me.

She also said that she could see you throwing your cap in the air at the end of 2015 and that big things were coming your way.

At that point of course, we were all sceptical, because we still thought you needed to do an extra summer semester before graduating early 2016 – turns out, you didn’t need too – you had enough units all along.

During my reading, she said something that stopped me in my tracks and sent a shiver down my spine.

She said that you will be moving to New York in the next couple of years.

I know this has been a dream of yours for a while now.

Let’s face it – you’ re such a city girl.

You fell in love with New York the first time you visited – much to my disapproval of course!

And how about that spooky moment when we found out that the firm you now have a job with, actually has an office in New York?

Yes, I know, yet another one of those magical moments that we shared together.

Just for the sake of my lovely readers, I need to just tell them a little more about the clairvoyant.

It was not the type of reading where you have a conversation with a gypsy at a fair ground. This woman came highly recommended with a long waiting list. She didn’t ask me questions that I had to reply to. She just spoke to me very quickly about what she could see/was being told?

I had no chance to confirm or deny what she was saying, because she was talking at 100 miles an hour – I kid you not! To be completely honest, at first I had no idea what she was saying. It wasn’t until I got home and listened to the magnitude of what she had said, that I realised how good she was. She never once asked me if she was on the right track. It was like she didn’t need my approval. She was just telling me.

Dear Beckie

You moving to New York – well this alone, terrifies the life out of me.

Because I am such a worry wart.

I panic about your safety all the time.

I worry the ‘what-if’s’.

But I also worry about ME.

Me not having YOU close by. 

We won’t just be able to pick up the phone when we have a ‘you never guess what’ moment because you will be in a different time zone.

If you need me, I won’t just be able to jump in the car and be with you.

How will I cope without YOU?

Of course, you already know I would never stand in your way.

In fact, quite the opposite, I have always pushed you to step outside of your comfort zone and make your dreams come true.

The world is your oyster darling.

You are at the perfect age to live your life to the full, and that’s exactly what I want you to do.

I would hate you to look back and have regrets.

Especially if you felt I wasn’t on your side.

I can see the possibilities that will be open to you and to your career.

You must grab them with both hands, knowing I am your biggest supporter.

I will just run along behind you, supporting you any way I can, making sure your life is as perfect as possible.

Because my job as your Mumma is a lifetime commitment.

I promise to continue to support you every step of the way.

I promise to trust you to not put yourself in danger.

I also promise to let you have your own space.

While there is breath in my lungs though, I will always steer you in the right direction if you ever find yourself stuck, or unsure of what to do next.

I promise to always pull you back down to earth – if you get too big for your boots!

Holy cow Beckie, YOU blow me away every single day.

I truly hit the jackpot when you were born.

You are my little ray of sunshine. My baby girl. My world.

And I know we will never be far away from each other, no matter what.

Love you to the moon and back,

Mumma xx

Ps. you can tell I’m proud of you right? 😉

 

Bev,

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  • So sweet and a look into the long time worry of a mum!

    • Thank you for reading my story – I’m a very lucky Mumma to have such an amazing daughter xx

  • Andrea from Icadoo

    What a beautiful beautiful post! You (and your husband of course ;o) did an amazing job raising her and I’m sure she’s also super proud to have you as her mamma. And yes. I understand the New York ‘worry’. But it’s only a plane ride away … xx

    • Thank you so much Andrea. From the moment she came in to this world, she has had my full attention. She had made feel love I never thought was possible. Now its her time to flutter her little wings and see what the future holds…hopefully lots of shopping in NYC! xx

  • Helen Wood

    What a fabulous loving and affirming post! The strength of the bond you have with your daughter shines through everything you write about her. Have to say, I shed a few tears…

    • Oh thank you Helen. She truly is the light of our lives. I want her to dream big and enjoy every second of what comes her way, because I know the love we have for one another, will last a lifetime. xx

  • Awww, you gorgeous mumma bear! Your bond will never be broken – not with distance, oceans or time. And I second what Jenni said – hello holidays to NYC! x

    • Thanks darling. I have been so excited since she got the magic grad offer. But deep-down inside I’ve been wanting to vocalise my fears. Silly really, because both of us suffer the same anxiety’s if we are apart for too long – I know we will find a way to make whatever comes our way work. It will be different, but it will also be fine xx

  • Jenni from styling curvy

    I say what a wonderful chance for overseas holidays and super shopping! Congrats to Becky on her fab achievement!! She will always be your girl Bev, the bond is tight x

    • Oh Jenni thank you. I know she will always be me girl. We talk continually, are each others biggest supporters and share bang on the same interests – SHOPPING – can you imagine? NYC here we come! xx

  • Lisa Mckenzie

    Aww Bev that reminded me of when my baby girl moved 10 hours away to a different state with a partner I didn’t like ,but I let her go with a smile of course because we can’t live their lives for them even though I didn’t want her to go one tiny bit.We visited and talked every single day and missed each other like crazy but it didn’t turn out to be the right decision so she came home back to us and now is happy with her own house and a lovely man whom I’d call my son.
    Whatever Beckie does my friend you will be happy for her and get through it,just like when she was a tiny sick baby,I’m so happy for your daughter and you Bev On what your beautiful girl has achieved,may she be truly happy.Happy is all I’ve ever wanted for my children….. The best of everything to your girl beautiful Xx

    • Lisa you were so right to let your girl fly away, always knowing she would find her way home. We can never hold our children back. The are only gifted to us for a certain period of time. In that time, we love nurture and cherish their souls. We feed them with love, hope and kindness and teach them right from wrong, before we let them fly…if we get it right, they will always return.
      I already know you are a wonderful Mum. Your love for your children shines through for all to see.
      Thanks for the love gorgeous girl xxx

  • Petra

    That is such a tear-jerker post! I’m not into clairvoyants but wow! You guys never have to stop being close – even if she travels away from home for a while. I’m not as brave as you, I’ve already told my son I don’t want to be far away from him, and because we’re close he understands, and thankfully he’s a homebody and not a traveller, so I think I’m safe!!! Remember the Aussie saying “…she’ll be right, mate…” if ever you start to worry about the future. Have a wonderful day Bev 🙂

    • Thanks so much Petra. I started writing a different post, but within a couple of sentences I was writing to Beckie. It felt so right. Sometimes I just feel the need to let the words flow before I come up for air.
      Beckie does have big ambitions and I truly want her to experience everything that life has to offer. I know that will probably mean us being apart at some point in the future, but I feel sure she has a guardian angel on her shoulder, always making sure she is ok! xx

  • Sharon

    OMG I’m balling! What a wonderful achievement, well done Beckie. By far, however, the greatest gift you both have is each other. To share the beautiful bond that you do, to know that come what may, you’ll always have each other and to be certain, so very certain, that you are both loved is a beautiful gift indeed. You both deserve everything beautiful that life throws your way. It goes to show that hard work and determination far outweigh the sometimes dire predictions of a pessimistic few. Love and light, Sharon xx

    • Oh Sharon thank you for your wonderful words and for taking the time to read my ramblings. I’m always so proud of Beckie, but her getting this grad job has confirmed just how far she has truly come to get to this point in her life. xx

  • Mary Anne Komar

    What wonderful news for a very specially talented and lovely daughter of yours! The journeys we choose in this life are truly amazing and usually turn into tremendous blessings.

    • Thank you so much Mary Anne. I am just the proudest. She has drive and ambition. She pictures her life and it excites her. I just can’t wait to watch it unfold. xx

  • Just beautiful Bev. Congratulations to Beckie on all those wonderful achievements. Everything you have said is me to a tee in regards to both my daughters. You want the best for them and them to achieve all their dreams but selfishly close by. I also have a dream of living in New York at some stage – I wonder if that will ever happen. V x

    • Oh V what a wonderful dream you have for yourself too. I love that!
      I know Beckie will get there, its just a matter of time…I also know that Jonny and I won’t be that far behind her either. After all, just like your precious girls, she is out world xxx