I’m committing to a healthier lifestyle…
I have thrown caution to the wind over the past couple of months.
Let me tell you, there have been extra glasses of wine and more nibbles than a girl needs in her life.
No excuses, just plain ole’ honesty…but, I if I had to analysis why I’ve been feeling like this, I guess it had something to do with feeling cheated out of Christmas.
Retail and Christmas are not a marriage made in heaven!
I’ve also kinda known that my holidays were coming. So instead of going on a crash diet to drop a couple of kilo’s in preparation – I’ve done the opposite.
A relaxed smugness took hold and my holiday wind down came in the form of enjoying myself – maybe just a tad too much!
Don’t worry, I’m not being too harsh on myself, I’m just being real and telling it like it is.
Looking back, I think I was trying to extend that holiday feeling…
Yes, I could blame work.
After all, my job is all-consuming.
Or should I say, I’ve been allowing my job to be all-consuming.
I hear you – Yes I know, it is only a frock shop.
But for some strange reason – retail is so bloody full on, its unbelievable.
Everyone who works retail feels the immense, all consuming pressure that comes with a retail management role.
Back in England I have had two business.
I(we) pushed very hard to be successful. I worked the hours and the rewards followed.
I can honestly say though, that my job now, is more stressful.
Working retail is bloody hard work.
So I’m cutting myself some slack.
I can’t change what’s been. But I am in control of tomorrow.
The last two and a bit weeks holiday, have given me lots of thinking time. I realised just what is important to me.
What I want out of life.
I need to pull-back and re-focus.
Do you ever push too hard knowing it’s going to be darn difficult to walk the straight and narrow path again?
I know I can do it though.
Why? Because I want to.
A few weeks ago, one of my lovely readers sent me a beautiful email.
She gave me a much-needed talking too…it was after she read this post
She shared her life with me. She detailed how hard she had pushed, just because she was afraid to let anyone down.
That email alone changed my thought process completely.
Honestly. It was my wake up call.
Thank-you for caring enough to tell me your story gorgeous girl.
The email made me realise just how important I am.
It also made me realise just how much my family need me.
During my 2.5 weeks of refection time, I’ve also admitted to myself that it’s in my nature to give all of me.
I can’t help it. It’s just who I am.
So I’ve decided to put all that focus and commitment into making changes that will benefit my life.
A few years ago, when I was struggling with the death of my gorgeous Mum, I was lucky (yes lucky, no shame here) enough to be put under the care of a remarkable therapist.
Her name was Tracey and over a two-year period ( I saw her once or twice every single week) she helped me deal with my hidden demons.
She helped me deal with the loss of my babies – which I truly believed I had already dealt with.
The loss of my Mum and lots of other crap and health traumas that I had decided to bury deep down inside.
And of course my OCD.
One of the biggest things she taught me though, was that to survive I needed to learn to be selfish.
I had placed myself at the bottom of a very big pile.
Everyone’s needs came before mine.
I truly thought I was invisible.
So this is the first step for me to become healthier.
Don’t get me wrong, on the whole, I’m not in too bad a shape.
I’ve had a full check-up at the doctors and besides still recovering from the effects of my head injury, she recons I’m in pretty good condition.
I don’t have high blood pressure. My cholesterol is good.
Except for horrendous migraines, which are driving me crazy. I’m all good.
Because I work retail, there was no way I could start my New Years Resolution on January 1 – I was far too busy consuming copious amounts of alcohol, dreading the moment when my boss went on 3.5 weeks annual leave and I would be left holding the CR baby.
So instead I’m starting now. It’s not a resolution, it just a commitment to a healthier me.
- Cutting out the nibbles.
- Limiting wine to Friday Saturday and Sunday.
- Joining a Yoga class.
- Making sure I walk at least 10000 steps a day.
Guess what? I feel ready!
Did you over-indulge at Christmas time? Is a healthier you something you are focusing on? Are you kind to yourself?